The Quasi-Psychologists

Quasi-Psychologists #8; 06/26/2012

Click here for the quintessential difference.

This week, the Quasi-Psychologists are on the job. What job you ask? ALL OF THEM.

First, we discuss why nobody particularly likes Zack (it’s because it’s his job). Then, we discuss Batgirl: Spoiled! Also, how we’re trying to save Matt Mercer’s job. Lou explains what he does at college (turns out it’s his job). We even talk a little about a man applying for the “best job in America”. There’s some forensic profiling, a lot of qualifying disparity, and the horrifying revelation that bread may not, in fact, be most things. Oh, and we have a bird now.

Notes: The opening is a bit messy, because we weren’t even really meaning to record at the time. Turn it up and listen closely.  Also, if you’re interested in getting some up close and personal Quasi-Psychology, click here.

If you’d like your question answered, send it to Quasipsychologists@gmail.com. Subscribe to us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter, check out our page on Facebook, and YA YA DAGON FTHAGEN!

If you want to download the episode, right click here.

We have an interloper!

This week, the Quasi-Psychologists have a bona-fide guest.  The Illustrious, Magnificent Taliesin Jaffe.  For those of you who don’t know, Mr. Jaffe is a veteran voice actor and director, as well as being one of the most spectacularly eccentric people any of us has had the pleasure to know.  We want to talk about anything, but I think we might especially want to talk about relationships.

SO GIVE US SOME QUESTIONS!  GIVE THEM FOR TALIESIN!

Right?  That makes sense.  Sally forth!

Thought of the Tuesday

Befriend the mighty Dagon, or he will destroy your reality.

Quasi-Psychologists #7; 06/19/2012

Click here for, we’ll be totally honest, a clip episode.

Oh no! What happened to Marisha? Well, we can’t do a proper episode with out Marisha. Who would elaborate?

Because half the hosts are missing, we’ve decided to do a clip show. Zack and Lou introduce a series of snippets cut from Episode 1, including how much Lou hates being compared to Chris Rock, and Marisha’s gymnastic blowjobs. There’s also the bit we left out of Man Bites Dogma about the elephant in Religion’s room… Scientology. Cause come on, seriously?

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! The men of QP also tackle two incredibly pressing questions. First, we explain what the hell is going on with all of us (it’s interesting, I promise). Then, we finally lay to rest any rumors that Lou isn’t better than everyone else in any room. Forever.

Notes: Can you believe it? An entire episode about clips and we forgot to plug our section devoted to clips even one damn time. We are not innate self-promoters. Check them out. Especially Zimbabwe.  Occasionally, there are more.  Also, Batgirl: Spoiled!

If you’d like to ask the Quasi-Psychologists a question, SUBMIT. Subscribe to us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter, check out our page on Facebook, and please laugh at the Brendan Fraser joke.

If you want to download the episode, right click here.

Superfluous Lexicon: Banal

This is, absolutely, without a doubt, one of my favorite words. In fact, many of it’s synonyms are incredible too. Banal means something like droll or ordinary, but more painfully. If something is banal, it is so mundane, so uncompromisingly trite that it is making you less interesting as a person just by being near it. The DMV is a perfect example of this phenomenon. Or CNN.

Example Sentence: Scorpion sits and patiently does Sub-Zero’s taxes. Banality.

lightsandsparks asked: Can Zack do more Killing the Joke? (is that an ongoing thing?) They're pretty hilarious.

Yes.

Killing the Joke: It’s Not Like That

We here at the Quasi-Psychologists believe that metaphors and their ilk are some of the greatest language technologies known to humanity. As Gamerdamon would say, we’re like sharks… we have to keep making analogies. I personally spend almost all of my time thinking about how some things are similar to other things. But some things are just not like the things you thought they were. This is a story about those things. Unlike a simile.

This story begins around the time we started recording the podcast. At the time, we were still recording out of West Hollywood, still trying to define exactly what a Quasi-Psychologist is. It was a very exciting time, mostly because the three of us still hadn’t known each other for all that long. That’s an important thing to talk about. Let’s do that.

Marisha, Lou and I know each other incredibly well. There’s many theories as to why that is, but it seems like it was never really untrue. There are jokes to kill that will enumerate how we all met, like I promised, specifically “Lucky Charms” and “Weed is Dad’s drug.” But the point is, basically immediately after we were all in the same room for a day, we had become a super-team of solving problems and being funny. A few weeks later, we were recording.

So this is the climate. We work great together, we each get the way the others think, but we don’t really know that many facts about each other yet. Eventually we solved a lot of that, all in our own ways (I monologued, Marisha elaborated, Lou interjected), but in the early days there was a lot of “You WHAT?” from all sides. It was fun, especially considering there was nothing we could really say that would put the other two off. Some dark shit came up, guys, but we’re all cool about it.

Man, I’m really getting off track here. This was supposed to be about analogies. Alright, so in the first couple episodes, Lou made some analogies. See? I was getting there. But every once in a while, he’d interject (like he do, playa) with a simile that just flat out didn’t land. Occasinally I’d dismantle them, but usually the incongruity was just hilarious, and then we moved on. But I noticed it irritating him that he didn’t have a way to pull out. The moment he said “It’s like…”, he was trapped, forced to simile against his will. But no, he thought. There is another way. “It’s not like that.”

I busted out laughing. “I’m glad you can admit that, because I never can. Whenever that happens to me, I just pretend I’ve lost the thought.”

Lou appreciated the sentiment, and we moved on. But now I know that face. Even though Lou regrets everything he’s ever done, that face means Lou is regretting something while he’s doing it. And that just won’t stand. So I remind him it’s not like that, and we move on.

I emplore you to use this in your own life. Get out there. Tell some people they’re wrong. They may not appreciate it as much as Lou, but I’m sure they need to hear it more often.

Superfluous Lexicon: Abhorrent

You may ask, at this point, how it came to be that my favorite word in the English language and my second favorite word in the English language are a bad stutter away from being homonyms. I have an explanation for that- I just happen to be pretty great, and therefore great stuff happens around me. The word abhorrent is what you use when you find something so vile, so truly insulting to your humanity, that you can hardly summon up the energy to speak it. Hitler was abhorrent. The healthcare quality in third world countries is abhorrent. That guy who cut me off on Sunset Blvd the other day was definitely f***ing abhorrent. But, then again, so was tracking his license plate, finding his address, murdering his family and leaving them there for him to find when he gets home from work only to have the police arrive and arrest him for the murder of his beautiful wife and two children that he just loved so very, very much.

Example Sentence: Okay, maybe I’m a little abhorrent.

Thought of the Tuesday

Marisha is super busy, you guys.

Quasi-Psychologists #6; 06/04/2012

And we’re back. That’s all the fanfare necessary, thank you.

Now click here. Or else you’ll be sorry.

For the grand return of the Quasi-Psychologists, we decided to save Haiti. We hope someone puts our idea into motion, because Wyclef Jean isn’t doing shit.

Less importantly, we discuss the sins of Matt Mercer, the savage inclinations of Elmer the Glue Cow, and the pros and cons of pubic hair. Zack beats back the tide of internet trolls, Lou sheds a single tear for Lightning Medicine Cloud, and Marisha the Survivor fucking survives.

Notes: This week’s EIRW is the theory of Infinite Parallel Dimensions, which explains why Smoke can’t technically blow up every Earth. Probably.

Also, this episode was recorded two days before Marisha’s birthday, announced on Zack’s, and came out on Lou’s. Completely unintentionally, but a charming observation nonetheless.

If you’d like to ask the Quasi-Psychologists a question, SUBMIT. Subscribe to us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter, check out our page on Facebook, and make sure to examine an infant’s balls!

If you want to download the podcast, right click here.

Superfluous Lexicon: Aberrant

Aberrant means something that deviates drastically from the norm. It also has a number of great synonyms (eccentric, deviant, atypical, preternatural…), but unlike perspicacity, aberrant is undeniably the best. It is just the best word. I want it tattooed on my forehead. I want to buy a horse, name it Aberrant, and fight crime with a sword. I want to start a klezmer cover band of Adam and the Ants called Aberr and the Ants. I use the word aberrant so often I just had to look up the word weird. It is better than every other word in the world. It takes the cake… and eats it too.

Example Sentence: I may be aberrant, but at least I’m not abhorrent!

Thought of the Tuesday

When you stumble upon the pink sheep, whatever you do, have no regrets.

Anonymous asked: Unsubtly Athetist Anon asks: Greetings Quasi-Psychs! I was about to marathon all the episodes when I realized, you guy haven't made anymore podcasts. Are you taking your break and if so, can I leave question and Lou won't lose them? Thanks.

Thank you so much for actually being willing to listen to more than one episode in a row.  We make them only an hour for a reason.  BUT YES, we have been gone, and we’re glad you noticed!  Marisha was out galavanting as a vigilante, Zack watched almost every familiar part of his life vanish, and Lou probably died.  So he might lose your questions.

BUT TO THE POINT.

This Saturday, the Quasi-Psycholgists are back.  Episode 6 is already recorded, and Episode 7 is recording tomorrow.  So send us some more questions!  Also, we have a few other surprises in store, so keep a look out.  If you miss this, you’ll regret it, even though you shouldn’t.

QP OUT.

EIRW: Stanford Prison Experiment

Organized by Stanford Psychology Professor Phillip Zimbardo, the Stanford Prison Experiment took 24 students and randomly divided them into two groups- prisoners and prison guards. Then he built a prison in the basement of a building on campus. Then he locked them in there until they almost all murdered each other.

If you think I’m exaggerating, just keep reading.

The experiment was designed to see what the psychological effects of being a prisoner or a prison guard had on both individuals and a group, while removing the elements of culpability on one side and a salary on the other. The basement was locked, the cameras were turned on, and shit got real.

Within 24 hours, the participants had not only began exhibiting the exact signs Zimbardo predicted (the prison guards punished, deprived and were generally awful to the prisoners, the prisoners disobeyed orders and in response were treated worse), but to an even greater degree than he could have imagined. By the second day, sadistic tendencies started to spring up in the prison guards. By that night, a riot had broke out.

That’s right. In a fake experiment in a basement of Stanford, made up entirely of students who didn’t know each other and had no criminal pasts or recorded psychological issues, a riot broke out in less than 48 hours. The experiment had to be shut down, but Zimbardo had proven his point. Our prisons are the way they are not because of the people that populate them, but the very nature of how they work.

Of course, this experiment applies to way more than just prisons. It shows man’s capacity for evil when told that it’s what they should do. But it also shows the other side, the prisoners, and how easy it is to lose your individuality, sanity and morality in a world that treats you like a malfunctioning object.

—  Zack S. West loves you all hyperbolically.  Follow him on twitter @ZSWest